Thinking Out Loud: 47 Meters Down Uncaged

Welcome to another edition of Thinking Out Loud. Thinking Out Loud is where I go to the movies (or watch one at home) and take running thoughts and notes throughout, it gives you a raw inside look at my thoughts as I am watching the movie. I tend to do this with throw away fun movies (like this one) because while I spoil a lot of what happens, you get the jiff when you see the trailers regardless.

On the docket today, the sequel literally no one asked for, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged.

Plot: Four teen girls diving in a ruined underwater city quickly learn they’ve entered the territory of the deadliest shark species in the claustrophobic labyrinth of submerged caves.

Well the first one wasn’t that spectacular but here we go.

Damn. They tossed chick in the water with all her clothes on.

Great white shark viewing? I’M ALL IN!!!! 

Here comes B-minus song because we couldn’t afford to pay for actual music.

Oh no. She’s going to make her jump like Brady did his kid!!!!! This is unsafe!!!!

So am I supposed to forget the nerdy chick had a backpack and now it’s gone? Okay.

Stealing professional gear and going cave diving. Sounds safe. 

Well we know whose going to die here and it won’t be the sisters.

This would be pretty neat to do if I haven’t seen 100 movie and how they end up. 

Hahaha the little puff looking fish just scared the hell out of that chick and now everything is broken.

Ben to save the day, Ben is now lunch. 

These chicks arms look CGI’d 

Freaking out under water with minimal oxygen always seems like the thing to do. 

Are you okay she ask? Yeah I just witnessed a dude get eaten by a shark and I’m not 100% I am not going to be eaten by him too. I’m just fine.

Going further down seems like the ideal thing to do. 

The shark is back and only eats the electrical thing under water. The humans are still alive, barely. 

So they escaped the dumb shark? Lucky them. 

Ooooooo let’s separate. Sweet. Always a smart idea in a movie. 

Underwater welder, you know he’s rich. 

Two men are now dead. 

Floating head, that’ll scare anyone…. 

Dad to save the day….. or will he become desert? The men have not fair well so far.

Oh yeah let’s toy win the shark, that seems smart. 

Shark is mad, very mad. He wants to eat these little girls.

Lmfaooooooo that chick is climbing on top of the other chick to get out and now she’s about to become desert!!!!! Hahahahahhagah this is hilarious!!!!!!!

We got two sharks…. ahaha the selfish chick is about to become desert!!!! Bye. 

OHHHHHHH CRAP!!!!!!!! Daddy during his save the world speech just got eaten!!!!!! That was easily the best part of this whole movie. 

Shark meat count 

Men – 3
Women – 1


Sharks – 4
Current – 1 

This is so bad it’s not even funny now. This chicks are climbing under water during a current, on top of moving through year water a whole lot as is. 

He broke free from the shark only the drown? Lol 

Sorry this just in CNN recount. Florida has now listed the voting as follows

Shark – 4 
Current – 0
Drowning – 1

Fox News is calling it too close to call

Oh it’s a dead end, oh just kidding. 

Hahahahaha it’s the great white show and these two are stuck in the meat parts that he tossed over. 

They are saved just kidding.

This chick jumped back in to save her sister, and shot him with perfect accuracy and hit him. 

Lmfaooooooo she just used the shark tooth from the beginning of the movie to stab the shark in the eye to let her go.

I’m dying of laughter.

They are just standing their chilling with their body chomped up and hugging. No big deal. 

The Verdict:

* out of ***** gavels

This movie was dumb. Just truly dumb. The story was ok. But the execution was bad. It was unrealistic. It was bad. Just awful. 

I wish I would’ve gotten eaten by a shark

Should You See it?: Yes but only if you take a shot for every time a stupid thing happens in this movie. That’s literally the only way you could enjoy this.

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Tell me what you thought of the movie, hit me up on here or talk to me on Twitter@RickyValero_

One thought on “Thinking Out Loud: 47 Meters Down Uncaged

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